The magic of accountability without judgment

Casey Onder, PhD
2 min readOct 21, 2022


Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash

You probably have some idea of what winning at your work looks like for you. I hope so! I hope you’re defining success on your terms (if not, you’re invited — and I highly recommend).

The experience of subjective success, joy and fulfillment is often the holy grail of people who are successful and not entirely content. It’s a step in the right direction.

It gets better.

Once you genuinely like what you do, the next step psychologically speaking is relating to success standards as tools versus truths, as doorways versus fences, as supports versus mandates or markers of our own or others’ worth.

You get to play the game because you love playing it. You give it all you’ve got, and not just because you’ll win — though winning’s fun too.

Here’s where accountability without judgment comes in: You define success, and then you play for it. You don’t beat yourself up or puff yourself up according to your performance. You are “good” and “bad” equally, like all of us.

It’s much, much bigger than you.

This is where the magic and a sense of purpose and the pathway to peak performance really take off. You are an indescribably tiny and indescribably powerful spark in a sea of seemingly chaotic activity that is much, much larger.

When you become who you are, it ceases to be a performance. What you do and exceeding your goals becomes inevitable. It becomes simply you.

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Casey Onder, PhD

Psychologist, success coach, believer in solid behavioral science and the power of tuning in.