The art of giving AF
Many of my clients have expressed some version of: I want to care less.
I want to care less about what others think.
I want to stop taking on others’ problems.
I want to stop people pleasing and over-polishing my performance.
I want to be more authentic and self-expressed.
I want to be more comfortable receiving accolades and attention.
And you know what? Thanks for fucking caring.
“Not giving AF” can seem fun, empowering and sexy — but it’s also disconnected. The people I know who do give AF are the ones with the most open hearts, the most prosocial tendencies. They’re successful leaders and entrepreneurs in part because people get that they care about their impact. They trust them and they’re willing to follow.
By the way? Giving AF is a really great way not to be a psychopath, tyrant, or simply incompetent.
It’s a good starting point to becoming a high performer and generally good citizen and, like most automatic or identity-related patterns, it becomes limiting. Tendencies birthed in a healthy and natural sense of human connection become fears of expansion or rubbing others the wrong way.
Giving AF is not the problem. Doubting and boxing ourselves in is.
So thank you for giving AF.
Thank you for knowing you have gifts and potential still untapped.
Thank you for noticing others, and your sensitivity to your impact.
Thank you for caring how you show up, how you’re received, and what you do with that.
Thank you for knowing you’re not perfect.
Thank you for being human.
The art of giving AF is creating what you want because you give AF. Not in spite of it. There’s no need to fix, suppress or forcibly remove parts of you that are less than perfect. Understand them, honor them, contain them if needed or look beyond them — and the limitations will naturally fall away.
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