Stay motivated by being your Fan No. 1
Each of us has a unique relationship to success, but the dictionary definition is simply “attainment of a favorable or desired outcome.” If success is based on our desires, why do so many of us lose desire or motivation as we strive to succeed at something, particularly longer term? In some cases, we even come to resent the desired goal as if it were a burden. Much of this comes from our tendency to be harsh or neglectful of ourselves. Below are some ways you can keep the fires of desire burning bright en route to the end goal, particularly in the face of challenges.
1. Practice exquisite self care. In many cultures self care takes a back seat to external signs of success, as if the two were unrelated. This leads to health consequences such as fatigue, sedentary lifestyle, impaired immunity, and thwarts or limits your motivation long-term. Get clear on what self care means for you. This is the foundation of your success pyramid. Keeping yourself fit — mentally, physically, and emotionally — supports accomplishment and adaptability.
2. Get crystal clear on your why. This can be the hardest part for some people, and it’s critical to get clear on why you want something in the first place. Each of us will define success differently. To ensure your why holds up under stress, ask yourself the following questions: If you get the thing, what will it give you? What’s your higher commitment, why is this an important and worthy pursuit, and where does it fall in relation to other things you’re committed to? Another place to look is whether the goal comes from desire (approach motivation) or fear (avoid motivation). Goals created from fear are disempowering and tend to buckle under pressure, lose their bite WITHOUT pressure, or come with negative side effects. Sustained, satisfying success comes from desire and moving toward something.
3. Get supported. This falls under the self care pyramid in some ways but it’s important enough to call it out separately. Support can be social/motivational (enlisting the support of partners and friends, coaching) or instrumental (training, tangible resources). No one’s going to do it for you but if you’re really committed to the thing, it makes sense to invest in yourself to create it. So check your ego and fear of failure and judgment at the door, please. Be genuine, engage in win-win partnerships, and get your needs met.
4. Honor your preferences and cycles. There are a bajillion articles (and writers, teachers, and consultants) who will be happy to give you advice on how to be productive. These contain grains of truth but cookie cutter approaches are specific to the circumstances versus specific to YOU. What worked for one person may fall flat for another — especially for big undertakings. Pay attention to what seems to work best, expect messiness, and remember to come from a position of self-championship rather than white knuckling your way to results or giving up entirely. It’s like jamming a key into a door repeatedly only to find that it slides in nicely with a few gentle wiggles.
5. Take the outcome as a given. Imagine a universe in which you would DEFINITELY be succeeding. What version of yourself are you being? What superstar strengths and motivations are you calling on to bring your desire to fruition? What does superstar you do to get there? Your milestones and tasks should not read like a to do list. They are chapters in your hero story.
6. Celebrate wins. You already know you’re going to kill it, and when you do, it’s time to celebrate your awesomeness! Appreciate yourself for who you were in climbing to the top of your mountain. What would make you feel the most appreciated? At the end of the day celebrating success is celebrating YOU. If you tend to be more focused on serving others or worthy causes, keep in mind that empowering yourself empowers everything you do. The success of those who are values- and cause-motivated tends to lift up others especially. Recognizing your own value empowers you to fully leverage it.
By nourishing yourself and becoming your single greatest fan, you’re far more likely to not only succeed but also to grow and enjoy yourself in the process. As a result you’ll be more satisfied, refreshed, and ready to take your success to the next level with each subsequent win — whatever success means for you.
The most successful performers have coaches and trainers. If you’d like to learn more about how coaching can support your success journey, drop me a line or schedule an introductory call. We’ll explore what you’re looking for, what’s getting in the way, and what’s possible with a breakthrough. I offer complimentary one hour sample sessions so you can experience my coaching firsthand and see if it’s a good fit for your needs.
