On playing bigger NOW

Casey Onder, PhD
2 min readApr 24, 2022
Photo by Héctor Achautla on Unsplash

At any given time the following paths are available to playing bigger:

  • The path of drive, joy and inspiration
  • The path of social/environmental rewards
  • The path of pressure and punishment

Change is inevitable, so why not be the instigator?

It’s not about focusing on flaws and fuck ups (and pardoning yourself ironically)… While you and others would do well to be self-aware of missteps and shortcomings, you’ll end up missing opportunities and chasing your own tail.

It IS about learning, applying, and constantly setting the bar higher.

Success is subjective, so choose your definition honestly, and wisely.

Don’t make yourself teeny tiny, look to others to tell you, or box yourself in from fear, doubt or guilt. These feelings are OK and natural, if lousy sports.

And sometimes shadows are neglected gifts in you. Shadows aren’t always shady.

There’s a great quote by Marianne Williamson along these lines:

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

Self sabotage happens when our egos are too scared to support our callings, dreams and goals — and we let our egos rule.

And whether or not you tend to self sabotage, achieving your goals (to make a positive difference, to create something of value in the world, to become someone of impact and influence) is about much more than you.

It’s about the people and things you impact, it’s about your stakeholders, it’s about the people who follow you.

Want to play bigger? Tapping into your drive, joy and inspiration on the regular, remaining deeply ethical and grounded, staying open to possibility, committed to outcomes, connected to others and nimble in cutting out distractions, is the best path I know.

Get on your path.

Become your change instigator.

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Casey Onder, PhD

Executive Coach | Psychologist | PhD. Follow me on LinkedIn or sign up for my newsletter @ caseyonder.com.