How to be more confident—Without being reckless or arrogant
Ah, confidence. That powerful quality that for so many people, plays so hard to get. Paired with complementary qualities like self-awareness, compassion, and discretion, confidence is a boon collectively and individually: Just think about how much more some people would do in and for the world if only they believed they could.
Most of us think of confidence as believing in our own abilities.
But what about when you really don’t know what you’re doing? And when you can’t know the result?
There are a couple of (healthy) ways you can be confident operating in unknown territory:
- Confident that you’ll be OK, even if it goes to shit.
- Confident that even if the road is bumpy, you’ll find a way and the resources to drive on it, which helps those providing those resources too.
There are also a couple of not-so-healthy ways, which aren’t really confidence at all:
- “Confident” that negative consequences are impossible, because you’re out of touch, have little regard for your own welfare, or someone else is paying the bill. AKA reckless all the way to psychopathic.
- “Confident” that you are invincible and/or better than everyone and/or the universe owes it to you, therefore (it will happen)… AKA arrogant.
When someone is confident, they take risks with eyes wide open. They’re willing to assume consequences because it would be worth it — and they believe that if they pull it off, it will.
When someone is being reckless or arrogant, they’re blindfolded. They’re just as in the dark as those utterly lacking in confidence, just in a different way.
Long story short: Confidence stems from a deep seated sense of security, and I would argue, a connection to your heart. Without those pieces, what we think of as “confidence” tends to have an element of denial… at times cruelty.
Real confidence has integrity. Real confidence comes from love.
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