When it comes to career achievement, we ladies often get it backwards.
We do things because they look good, substitute others’ opinions for our own, constantly chase the next accomplishment, and verbally lash and push ourselves in ways that at the end of the day, just don’t feel good. At the other extreme, we may get cocky, desensitize and pursue our goals irrespective of the impact or opportunity costs to others.
The same came be true for men.
I’m no stranger to these patterns. I took the path of many a second generation American with a 4.3 GPA in high school, full ride scholarship to USC, a PhD, becoming a management consultant, and enrolling in a coach training program called Accomplishment Coaching in Manhattan — the epicenter of U.S. hustle. But while I always did enough to look the part of a proper high achiever, I flirted with alternative interests on the side and knew on some level I was doing things that looked right for mostly the wrong reasons.
When this happens, at best we crave something more once in a while, at worst we sacrifice our health and esteem or others’ and feel empty, burned out, or regretful.
Introducing the high achiever gone rogue: That unique brand of human who passionately pursues success on her terms, terms that are heartfelt and natural versus expressions of ego-based fears and defenses.
The high achiever gone rogue:
- Does what she wants, because she wants to — and because it truly matters to her
- Is not fazed by others’ opinions (when they have nothing to do with her values or desired results)
- Cares about results because she cares about her impact, versus merely due to fears or self-image
- Operates from a deeply felt desire to create, care for and/or influence
- Strives for outcomes that feel risky to her, because the reward is worth it
- Takes pride and satisfaction in her (current or pending) success with the understanding that it does not define her
- Pursues her own path while appreciating others and/or lifting them up, versus negative energies of comparison
- Cares about who she is over appearances and leads by example
- Defines and pursues a deeply personal version of success
- Celebrates successes and learns from failures
Depending on where you’re starting from, high achievement gone rogue can seem like a radical or outright hazardous path, requiring that we adjust our ideas of who we are and what we’re all about.
Sometimes less makes space for more.
And things like self-trust, permission, self-compassion and honoring our own integrity allow us to heal, grow, reinvent, and open up.
Because at our core we are naturally powerful, growth oriented, altruistic and full of energy. It’s our relationship with ourselves that’s off.
Does going rogue sound amazing? It IS. I offer group and 1:1 coaching to support your heroine’s journey (even and especially if you don’t quite feel like a heroine yet). Check out my offerings and/or subscribe to my weekly newsletter at caseyonder.com.
Better yet, join me and a group of brilliant ladies for my Clairvoyage women’s retreat!