Love your block to overcome it

Casey Onder, PhD
2 min readSep 10


Photo by Roopak Ravi on Unsplash

You’ve made the time.

Pulled all the stops.

Made seemingly 110% effort.

You have everything you need to do the thing you set out to and yet…

You haven’t.

It eludes you, like some desert mirage.

To find your oasis, you may need to dig deep (not necessarily in a time intensive way, and not necessarily intellectually).

If not?

You might continue floundering, or oscillating back and forth.

You might even figure out how to bypass the block, denying or rejecting it.

The latter might seem pleasant, more productive. What’s the problem?

To put it bluntly, someone will pay, now or later, for the things you don’t face or handle. When we buy change on credit, we get the outward results and image over the real deal.

Refusing to accept our own humanity is not a sustainable path to change, at least not collectively.

The way through the desert is through.

Too many have lived and witnessed the alternative. I’ve paid the bill for others’ unconscious vulnerabilities — even more so for my own.

There is courage and beauty in being with our own messiness, much more than the glossy image.

Maybe it’s time to get real and really kind with ourselves about the nature of our resistance. Maybe…

Our humanity is a gift.

Loving ourselves may sting, and it will never hurt us.

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Casey Onder, PhD

Psychologist, success coach, believer in solid behavioral science and the power of tuning in.