From Roaming To Romance: The Key To Falling In Love With What You Do

There are lots of reasons we fall out of love with our work, or were never were in love to begin with. But at the core there is only one reason: You aren’t fully showing up.

Maybe your environment or responsibilities aren’t supportive, or maybe you have internal barriers. Usually it’s a combination.

So you’re going through the motions, doing what needs done, maybe doing it well or maybe badly, feeling something between pained and bored and hungry for more. If you’ve been in this position for a while, if you’re not distracting yourself or numbing out, you’re probably hungry a lot.

It’s like a buzzing in the background that’s always there, and you can never completely ignore. You want something else. You want more depth and aliveness.

Here is where lots of us get stuck or find ourselves roaming. Faced with a comfortable known and uncomfortable unknowns, we question or critique, become scattered, leap without looking, or compensate with practices that may be helpful for overall health and well-being (or not) but don’t actually address root cause.

We move away versus moving towards.

To do work you love, just as in any relationship, you need to start with YOU first. Stop looking outward and come home to yourself, stripped of titles and to-do’s and even relationships if they’re clouding the view. Imagine a life — work included — where you are being exactly who you are at your best, doing the kinds of things you enjoy doing, supporting needs you empathize and resonate with. Work from that place — or toward it, if you need to make a career change.

No relationship’s perfect. But your heart and the heart of your work need to connect, if you want to be fulfilled and committed long-term.

Maybe you could do this where you are currently, and maybe not. We don’t get to choose who we are inherently or what we want. We know how to play the game we’re good at already. Choosing our game is a whole different skill set.

Take stock of your natural talents and what excites you (and/or feels deeply significant). What is the impact or legacy that feels too good to be true? It doesn’t need to be flashy. It just needs to be true.

To fall in love with your work, embrace your truest desires and qualities. Loving your work starts with loving you.

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Psychologist, success coach, believer in solid behavioral science and the power of tuning in.

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