Are you doing too much?

Casey Onder, PhD
2 min readMar 5, 2023
Photo by Zdeněk Macháček on Unsplash

Are you doing too much?

…Are you a people pleaser? Do you struggle to say “no” or shape others’ expectations?

…Do you clean up others’ messes or compensate for shortcomings?

…Are you the go-to fixer or support without receiving the same in return?

…Do you do a lot of work you don’t love or like doing?

…Are you a perfectionist, exacting in your standards?

…Do you have a bucket list or passions long abandoned or put on the back burner?

…Do you try to do most things yourself, without delegating or getting assistance?

…Do you have little in the way of free time?

…Are you suffering from low energy and engagement, or high stress?

…Do you live for the weekends or live in overwhelm and pressure?

Beyond surface level circumstances, a pattern of doing too much can come from:

  • Protestant work ethic
  • Fear of being useless, unhelpful or lazy
  • Financial issues in families of origin
  • Immigrant survival mentality
  • Consumerism
  • Desire for approval and social comparisons
  • Shadow sides of self-sufficiency
  • Scarcity-based, “dog eat dog/everyone for themselves” attitudes
  • Inner critic, uncertainty of your value or the value of your work

To name a few.

Maybe you’re doing too much. And/or maybe you’re doing the wrong things, the right things in the wrong way, or the right things for the wrong reasons. Wrong meaning disempowered and draining.

Clarifying this will help you create/cocreate a fresh approach.

You can still be an amazing partner and/or high performance machine.

And these things can express and empower you.

Amazing limits what it drains.

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Casey Onder, PhD

Executive Coach | Psychologist | PhD. Follow me on LinkedIn or sign up for my newsletter @